Over 2 years ago, I pulled over for a really bad car accident on the freeway
I remember when I was 22. I was driving from Concord to meet some friends in Benicia to play Halo on xbox live. I remember there was a silver civic driving 3 cars ahead of me, which started swerving like crazy. It cut to the far right exit, and then spun back out, cutting across all lanes, slamming straight into the center divider. I pulled my car over about 25 yards ahead, got out and sprinted back to the civic.
I remember first, dropping down on the ground to look under the car, to make sure no car fluids were leaking. And then I looked into the car where I saw a female in the driver seat and a man in the front passenger seat. They appeared to be maybe in their early 30’s. The female was awake but stunned, she didn’t even know where she was. The male was unconscious but starting to wake up, also stunned. But then I heard a baby screaming extremely loud.
I told the couple that they had just got into a car accident and told them not to move, because I was not sure of their injuries. As the front of the car was semi smashed in like an accordion.. I then asked them if it was ok if I checked on their baby and they said yes. I opened the back door and climbed in. The little girl was about 2-3 years old, she was screaming even more because to her, I was a stranger invading her space. I noticed that blood was running down her mouth. It appeared as though the poor baby girl bit through her tongue from the car impact of the hit. That was the only thing that made me start panicking. Because I didn’t know how to calm the baby down. So I was just trying to talk to her calmly.
By then it had been 5-10 minutes. Which was sad because no other cars had stopped to try to help. A couple minutes later a couple pulled over to help me. Luckily they were registered EMTs. The lady asked me to hold the toddlers head softly, so she could look inside the child’s mouth and wipe some of the blood on her lip. After that they said that I could go ahead and go, because they could handle everything and an ambulance was on it’s way. So I did. And the ambulance was just pulling up.
Though it’s been almost 3 years. I still wonder how that family is doing. The little girl should be about 6 years old now. I still remember how they looked… Back then I didn’t have a clue about how to attempt to help them. But then now that I’m a certified rescue technician with medical training, I wonder about how much more I would have been able to help them. If I had all the knowledge I have now, back then. I hope that family is awesome and healthy.
You can't rely on someone else to make you happy. You have to go out and do your own thing and make yourself happy first. You should be your own top priority. Because what are you going to do when they're gone?
I think this is the first year where I don’t have a list of resolutions. I accomplished all of my goals in 2011. I have never been so surprised with myself. It’s quite something to do all the things that you never imagined yourself being able to do. To some extent, I still can’t process it through my brain. So… I can’t think of anything else that I want for myself. Or any goals I want for myself this year.
I think I can only think of one thing that I’m going to change. And it’s not a goal at all. But it is something I’m going to change about myself & my relationships with others. From now on, everyone else needs to take the initiative with me. It’s quite exhausting being the one who always tries to make sure everyone else is ok. And being the one who tries to always keep in touch, while not being appreciated. One can only try so much to save or maintain a relationship. As a relationship is a 2 way street. I will continue on with all the things that I started in January of 2011. But I will do so while being less concerned about everyone else. I’m a busy person. If you want to be in my life, you take the initiative. If you care about me that much, check up on me. If you have something to tell me, or something to ask me, do it. It’s not difficult. I’m not going to lose sleep or go out of my way for someone who wants to use me, or who doesn’t give a shit at all. No sympathy.
We are all in our mid 20’s. We are grown ass adults. No more time should be wasted. And yes, this is fair.
When talking to a person. You should always talk to a person with the intent of learning something new. And mutually, to express something new to them. It is poor to approach someone with the intent of just getting at them.
I believe that talking to someone with the intent of just getting at them is a waste of both their time and your time. And that it is also every generation’s biggest flaw.
I’m posting this because I see so many people on Tumblr bashing themselves and other people. Some people even make it factual that they aren’t good enough for anything. And some make such disrespectful posts about their parents. About things that they most likely don’t even understand or that aren’t even important. And that’s what the problem is. People just plain don’t understand these days. And they use the not understanding part to rip themselves apart and others. And they think that there’s no hope.
I want to tell you guys a few things. About myself and the most inspirational person in my life. But first I have to talk about myself for a little bit. Give you all some proper introduction. I’m going to open up about myself a good amount, so please be respectful. I’m not here to bash or put any of you down. And I don’t care about likes or reblogs or attention. I’m making this to help you guys understand how things work.
So here it goes. My name is Claude, and I’m 24 years old. And I have thousands of followers on Tumblr. I know that a ton of my followers have this specific perception of me. People tell me that I’m cute and intelligent all the time. A lot of you think that I’m perfect. I get a lot of praise for answering all of your messages seeking personal advice. I get a lot of respect for the little conclusions that I post at the end of my day. And I get a lot of compliments for my personal fashion and fashion posts. And those of you who constantly message me often ask me why my advice to you sounds so easy to understand, and wondering why I understand so many things. And I hope this helps you to understand why I am the way that I am, as well as inspires you all.
Growing up I was pretty damn poor. I didn’t really have many nice things. But I always had great friends. I didn’t have a relationship with my parents. My dad was a violent retired Army veteran, who served time as a tortured prisoner in the Korean War. And I believe that is why he never really spoke about normal things and why he was so temperamental. And my mom was and still is a drug addict. My mom’s best friend introduced my mom to this drug called Crank, before I even started elementary school. Along with other drugs. As a result her beautiful personality and view on life deteriorated pretty fast. She changed drastically by the time I graduated from middle school. She got high all night and slept all day.We fought all the time and never really spoke to eachother unless we were fighting from one of her drug related mood swings.
I didn’t care about many things growing up. And I had a pretty big attitude problem. I got into fights, and I stole things. I even drank and did drugs. Not because I thought it was cool, but because they numbed me from life. I just plain, didn’t care about anything. I was already dropping out by my sophomore year of high school. I was failing every single subject. And I stopped coming to school. And then one day where I actually decided to go to class, I was called to the principals office. Turns out that an anonymous student told my English teacher about some things that she heard about my life. And the English teacher reported it to the Principal. From that day on, I was required to come to class every day and see a school Social Worker twice a week to attempt to get my life back on track.
By this time, I had made the choice to run away from home (after a really big fist fight with my mom). I ran away to my big sister’s house in another city. It was an 8-9 hour walk, I even ran some of it to make it go by faster. I only had the clothes on my back and nothing else. And I’ve never been back home since. My school Social Worker arranged a meeting between my older siblings, my mother and I, not too long after (my siblings are all 10-20 years older than me and live in other cities). Where we discussed that my siblings would split custody of me. And it was agreed that living with my siblings was the best decision for me. And my sister Monica agreed that her house would be my main living environment until I graduated from high school.
And from that day on, I started straightening myself up. Because my sister Monica put me in my place. She told me “If you live here, you’re going to go to school every day, do homework every day, and you’re going to start doing chores and eventually get a job. If you don’t then you can’t live here. I’m not going to baby you, eventually you need to learn. You need to learn how to take care of yourself and stop being this way, and stop relying on me for everything. Because what are you going to do with yourself if I die tomorrow?” And that right there, put things into perspective real quick.
I started going to school every day. Thank goodness I have such good friends. They welcomed me back as if I had never left. And I really could tell that they missed me. All my teachers negotiated things with me. I was given all my homework that I had missed for more than half of the entire year, and I was given a 1 month extension. My close friend Derek helped me with homework almost every day, especially with Chemistry, because I hated that subject the most. And after a month, I raised all my F’s to B’s. And I was able to move on to being a Junior with my friends.
I was always very smart I just needed some inspiration and tough love with no remorse. And that’s what I got. Growing up with my big sister, I was taught to say my “yes ma’am”(s) and “yes sir”(s)… “Please” and “Thank you” were always required. And if I ever disrespected her, I was slapped silly. She always told me “If you’re not happy, then do something about it. Go somewhere else where you will be happy. It’s your choice to be stuck being sad or not”…. She also told me something that I still keep with me til this day. And that’s “If you don’t understand something, you better ask questions until you do understand. Don’t just sit there and say you understand, if you really don’t. If you don’t ask the right questions to get the right answers, how will you get anywhere? And being mad is a waste of energy. In the amount of time it took you to be pissed off about something stupid, you could have been spending less energy doing something that makes you happy”.
That’s what I want you guys to take from this. That there are always choices. And that it took all of this for me to become who I am today. So many of you hate your parents for loving you too much, and they actually take care of you. So many people pick on other people over stupid things, and over ego issues (like it’s going to give them points in life). And so many people complain about not getting all these little material things that they like, and wanting their parents to buy all this crap for them to make them temporarily happy. If you want something, go get it yourself. Go ask all the right questions to figure out what you need to do to get what you want. Find things and people that make you want to wake up the next day, and spend time with them all over again. And most importantly, remember to take care of yourself and others. Everything I own, I have bought by myself with my own hard work. I’ve been working since I was a teenager. If my sister had never put me in my place and taught me common courtesy and manners, I would have never graduated from high school, I would have never gone to college, and I most definitely would never have the job for the company that I work for today. And I would not be the person you all praise me for being. Thank you for reading.
Dear world, let me tell you. Success is not measured by how much greater you think you are in comparison to another person. Success is how much you have excelled in all the areas that you dislike about yourself. Until you understand this, you will never level up in happiness. And you will have not fixed anything.
I believe that it's almost impossible to explain how you feel to someone else. In a way where they can feel exactly as you feel. Since you can't give them your nerves or your heart, you have to move them with words that hit the same nerves that hit you. And it's almost as impossible as letting someone drive your car to a far destination they've never been to before. Without navigation or a map.
Shay: Speaking of which. I think you’re over-due for a just because present. I think I’ll buy you one next payday. HAHAHA
Me: I hope your bank account glitches on payday. Or your bank has a software update and all the atms go down. BEEEYAYATCH!
Shay: Pffft. My bank account doesn’t watch porno so no glitches THERE. Mmm cheesecake sounds good.
Me: Hahaha! I hope whoever did that shit to my work computer fucking chokes on a steak. Cuz trying to do a job meant for 3 people, by myself, fucking suuucks.
Shay: Lol. Aww
Me: Fine then. May your paycheck be delivered late by the courier. And if that really does happen. May you not try to give me a paper cut after.
Shay: Lol. I’m going to send a rotten cheesecake to your face.
Me: No you’re not! Because you might possibly be the only person who loves cheesecake as much as me. Or maybe even more. And we don’t waste cheesecake. You better eat that shit before it goes bad. The day you let cheesecake rot, I will waste sushi and cry.
Shay: Oh. My. God. Nevermind. No rotten cheesecake. -__-
Me: I laughed so hard, that I think if for some reason I had a heart attack at this very moment.. I’d still be laughing. On the floor. And I’d die faster and not care.
Shay: Lol I like how we hurt eachother with food. Talk about fat ass.