When I was in high school, my poetry teacher told me this story about the Mayans. He said, the Mayans believed that a person dies 3 times
The first time being the actual death, in which your body becomes without life. The second death, is when your soul leaves the body and flees elsewhere. The third death is the saddest of all the deaths. The third death is when all the people you have come to know or whom you have touched, have passed on. All the people who were able to pass on stories and their memories of you have gone. And there is no longer anyone on earth to remember or speak about your being… This story has stuck with me for years. I am not into religion. But this moment made me decide, that I’m never going to let myself die.
Over 2 years ago, I pulled over for a really bad car accident on the freeway
I remember when I was 22. I was driving from Concord to meet some friends in Benicia to play Halo on xbox live. I remember there was a silver civic driving 3 cars ahead of me, which started swerving like crazy. It cut to the far right exit, and then spun back out, cutting across all lanes, slamming straight into the center divider. I pulled my car over about 25 yards ahead, got out and sprinted back to the civic.
I remember first, dropping down on the ground to look under the car, to make sure no car fluids were leaking. And then I looked into the car where I saw a female in the driver seat and a man in the front passenger seat. They appeared to be maybe in their early 30’s. The female was awake but stunned, she didn’t even know where she was. The male was unconscious but starting to wake up, also stunned. But then I heard a baby screaming extremely loud.
I told the couple that they had just got into a car accident and told them not to move, because I was not sure of their injuries. As the front of the car was semi smashed in like an accordion.. I then asked them if it was ok if I checked on their baby and they said yes. I opened the back door and climbed in. The little girl was about 2-3 years old, she was screaming even more because to her, I was a stranger invading her space. I noticed that blood was running down her mouth. It appeared as though the poor baby girl bit through her tongue from the car impact of the hit. That was the only thing that made me start panicking. Because I didn’t know how to calm the baby down. So I was just trying to talk to her calmly.
By then it had been 5-10 minutes. Which was sad because no other cars had stopped to try to help. A couple minutes later a couple pulled over to help me. Luckily they were registered EMTs. The lady asked me to hold the toddlers head softly, so she could look inside the child’s mouth and wipe some of the blood on her lip. After that they said that I could go ahead and go, because they could handle everything and an ambulance was on it’s way. So I did. And the ambulance was just pulling up.
Though it’s been almost 3 years. I still wonder how that family is doing. The little girl should be about 6 years old now. I still remember how they looked… Back then I didn’t have a clue about how to attempt to help them. But then now that I’m a certified rescue technician with medical training, I wonder about how much more I would have been able to help them. If I had all the knowledge I have now, back then. I hope that family is awesome and healthy.
You can't rely on someone else to make you happy. You have to go out and do your own thing and make yourself happy first. You should be your own top priority. Because what are you going to do when they're gone?
I think this is the first year where I don’t have a list of resolutions. I accomplished all of my goals in 2011. I have never been so surprised with myself. It’s quite something to do all the things that you never imagined yourself being able to do. To some extent, I still can’t process it through my brain. So… I can’t think of anything else that I want for myself. Or any goals I want for myself this year.
I think I can only think of one thing that I’m going to change. And it’s not a goal at all. But it is something I’m going to change about myself & my relationships with others. From now on, everyone else needs to take the initiative with me. It’s quite exhausting being the one who always tries to make sure everyone else is ok. And being the one who tries to always keep in touch, while not being appreciated. One can only try so much to save or maintain a relationship. As a relationship is a 2 way street. I will continue on with all the things that I started in January of 2011. But I will do so while being less concerned about everyone else. I’m a busy person. If you want to be in my life, you take the initiative. If you care about me that much, check up on me. If you have something to tell me, or something to ask me, do it. It’s not difficult. I’m not going to lose sleep or go out of my way for someone who wants to use me, or who doesn’t give a shit at all. No sympathy.
We are all in our mid 20’s. We are grown ass adults. No more time should be wasted. And yes, this is fair.
When talking to a person. You should always talk to a person with the intent of learning something new. And mutually, to express something new to them. It is poor to approach someone with the intent of just getting at them.
I believe that talking to someone with the intent of just getting at them is a waste of both their time and your time. And that it is also every generation’s biggest flaw.